Odd

I have discovered that I’m a deeply sad person.  Not sad as in pathetic, but sad as in depressed.

I don’t know what to think of this, as I’ve always thought of myself as a mostly happy person.  However, tonight it suddenly struck me…underneath it all is a low drone…a buzzing in the background that has been there so long it is unnoticed.

I have the following reasons to doubt this discovery:

  • My mind is unendingly good at creating problems in order to solve them, since that will distract away from a real problem that I don’t want to face (example: the two research projects that are due in less than two weeks).  This could simply be a gigantic excuse for not working on things.
  • Being a teen, it is very possible that in a time span ranging anywhere from ten minutes to ten hours from now I may laugh at the idea of me being depressed, and that I will be right to do so as I will feel as happy as I ever have been
  • Things are getting better – I’m no longer making the same mistakes that I was before, and I’ve almost broken all of my bad habits completely.

I have the following reasons to believe this discovery:

  • It feels right; the feeling of sudden discovery sweeps me when I think of it.  I get the feeling that this is what I’ve been probing my mind for, and that I’ve found what I’ve been trying to find
  • I’ve been slowly peeling back the layers of my mind, and it makes sense that I would realize something like this eventually
  • I find that I latch onto simple pleasures, and view them more like self-healing.  I’ve never really asked, though, why I need to be healed at all.  If I’m not wounded, why would I need to be healed?
  • Something I will not write here, but a valid reason

One Response to “Odd”

  1. blueso Says:

    Humans are sad; imagine you are addicted to, say, chocolate. Chocolate is high in fat and energy and so the brain releases endorphines into the brain making us feel happy. This means that all other times, although usually happy, become a low. This needs another boost from chocolate and this repeats.

    This is to show that humans are designed to be sad. Food was a scarcity when we were evolving and so the brain started to reward eating. This meant that people would wish to eat as much as they can. This also applies to any physical activity and most psychological ones as well.

    Or, at least, that is what I theorise to be the reason. I could be full of hot air, for all I know.

    Sorry to hear that, but it’s just a teenager thing of this generation – happens to everyone.

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